This past weekend was great, but it had it’s moments.  For instance, Saturday my parents popped over (don’tcha just love those surprise visits?! sigh).  My dad was a awful mood.  Yeah, so this visit was REAL fun…lemme tell ya!  You just have to had been raised by a Marine to know how moody, and how terrible those moods can be to fully understand how bad they are.  Well, they brought my daughter some easter candy, which was fine, but they also brought me this Starbucks teddy bear.  I loved it!  It had a ballcap, a messenger bag, a Tshirt that read, “San Diego” on it, and a pair a cargo shorts!  It looked like me!  Well, my dad could not allow me to be happy about it. Apparently, my mom had purchased it without his knowledge…or atleast he wasn’t paying attention at the time.  He then goes off on this tangent about how they did not buy it from Starbucks, but rather Goodwill (this was not news to me, it said “SAN DIEGO” on the bear’s shirt, and they have NOT been to San Diego).  This did not bother me in the least bit…I am one that believes in it’s the thought that counts…and I know that my mom likes to shop thrift stores, rummage sales, etc.  She loves a bargain.  Ya know, he did not stop at that though…he went on and on how whoever paid full price for it paid too much…they would never pay full price for something like that…this whole five minute thing that made everyone uncomfortable!  My mom was steadily trying to get him to shutup, but he was ignoring her.  He was purposely making sure that I knew that they didn’t spend much money on me.  He was being just terrible.  I thanked my mom for it anyways.

Then, Sunday morning…yes, easter morning…I was checking my email, and I see that I have an email from my dad.  Unfortunately, it was not an apology or explanation of his nasty behavior, but instead…a forward that was in essence one of those “witnessing tracts”.  ya know, those annoying little things that tries to guilt you into attending church.  The subject line read, “Are you ready?” Okay, first of all my parents KNOW not to send me that sh*t.  So, they usually do not…and I hardly ever get forwards (or emails for that matter) from my dad.  So, giving him the benefit of the doubt, I open the attachment…it’s a video.  It was one of those low budget film clips of the “rapture”.  Sigh…

I didn’t even finish watching it, the moment I saw what it was (as I suspected) I deleted it.  Then, it was VERY tempting to hit reply on the email, and let him have it (given his bad behavior the day before).  I practiced much restraint, and simply left well enough alone.

Today, I called my brother simply needing someone to talk about this to.  He was as baffled as I regarding our father’s behavior.  We talked a long time, and towards the end of the conversation…somehow…I came out to him. GULP!!!

Yes, came out as a lesbian…he already knew I was an atheist.

He acted as he always does with shocking news…like it was nothing. LOL  The conversation ended in him telling me to “be me”, and he will always be here for me, wants to always have a relationship with me, and will love me no matter who I am or what I do.  You see, that is the way coming out should be.  Now, will I be able to do this with my parents???  HELL NO!!!!!!!!  But, I have secured my relationship with my brother, and that is enough for me.

I really was not planning on coming out to him on the phone…I don’t know where that came from.  Well, we were talking about my living situation…which led to my ex…er…uh…now roommate.  So, I guess it came up in conversation, but crap…I just called him to vent about our parents. LOL

This month has been terrible, but atleast my brother didn’t flip on me.  Also, I still have a place to live despite having being dumped…and a way to school until I can get a scooter this summer.  So, if I just get through finals here in the next few weeks…I will have survived some rough times recently.

Breathe…Breathe…Breathe…